I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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