Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize