she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
