do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
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