ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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