I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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