there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
