we're blogging at a bar
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Randomize
