I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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