Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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