im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
