I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Randomize
