Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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