I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
