just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
