I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize