yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Just high enough for therapy.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize