No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
this must be what syphilis tastes like
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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