I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize