You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
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