Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
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