Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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