sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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