Porn is love you can see.
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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