you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
