So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
