Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
