id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I need to calm my uterus...
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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