White coat. Heels.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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