Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize