My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
