I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
