We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
