Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize