also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
i can't believe i had my finger in that
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
