Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
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