she was so not down for the gang bang
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
