It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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