Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
