Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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