Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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