her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
