you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
