no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
