Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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