You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
