Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
