is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Randomize
