they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
