And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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