I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
