so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
okay pat passed out under dana's car
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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