the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
