Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
i already hear my dad disowning me
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
