he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
just come out here and I will go home with you...
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
