explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Randomize
