I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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